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Terry Small wants a woman. And he's seen a catalogue full of them. They're in Moscow, employed by REDS IN YOUR BEDS marriage agency. Armed with his best Calvin Klein underpants and his new abdominiser, Terry, the most dynamic conservatory salesman in Basingstoke, is on his way. Awaiting him in Moscow is Katya, the agency's Russian representive. The only male Katya cares about is her delinquent six-year-old son - and Terry, probably her most unprepossessing client ever, isn't going to pose a problem for a woman who's a past mistress of survival in post-Communist Russia. But Katya hasn't bargained for the intervention of that old Russian devil called Fate, not to mention Moscow's latest entrepreneur, Dr Modin, once Lenin's embalmer, now specialising in providing a mounting pile of dead Mafia bosses with the flashy, unforgettable funeral they so richly deserve...