Allen Berger Boeken

Did you know there are hidden rewards to making amends? Without a willingness to experience our painful feelings, we can never grow and mature into the person we'd like to be. We can never reach our potential. We can never become our true-self. To grow, we must stay in close contact with our experience, whatever it is. We need to stay in close contact with how we behaved in our relationships in order to make a thorough list of those we have harmed. We must face the wrongs we have done without running away from the truth. If we were rigorously honest with ourselves while making the list of people we had harmed, we probably felt one or more of the following feelings: anxiety, shame, discomfort, or guilt. This is exactly what we were suppose to feel. We were learning that we don't have to feel comfortable to be OK. In fact, another hidden reward is that the more willing we are to feel uncomfortable the more comfortable we become. Yes, another paradox! One of the many hidden rewards in working Steps 8,9, and 10 is to stay in close contact with our experience so we can learn from it. This self-understanding is at the heart of self-forgiveness and emotional recovery. --Excerpted from 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends

The author of the classic 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery offers a fresh list of "smart" things to do to attain and sustain emotional sobriety.Learn the attitudes and behaviors that are key to attaining and sustaining emotional sobriety and developing a deeper trust in the process of life.Dr. Allen Berger draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer us twelve hallmarks of emotional sobriety. These “right actions” help us develop the confidence to be accountable for our behavior, to practice asking for what we want and need, and to cultivate a deeper trust in the process of life. Dr. Berger’s list of smart things includesThrough practicing these twelve things, we find release from what Bill W. described as an “absolute dependence on people or circumstances. Freed from the emotional immaturity that fueled our addictive personality and hurt ourselves and others, we can develop the tools to find strength from within and continue our successful journey of recovery.

Stop Working at Your Relationship and Make It Work Instead "He's clueless. . . ." "She's too needy." "Maybe if I just work harder at it." "I feel like we're roommates, not lovers." If this sounds like your current relationship, you might be thinking you fell for the wrong person—but, as Dr. Allen Berger reveals, it's more likely that you’ve just fallen for the biggest myths about relationships, which result in unreasonable expectations. Myths like: love is the most important thing in a between partners, compromise is necessary and fair, and working harder at relationships will make them better. Using his thirty years of experience as a couples' therapist, Dr. Berger will help you take off the blinders and move on with a new level of intimacy, communication and connection with your partner. Through compelling case studies, field-tested exercises and no-nonsense tips, you'll discover the relationship myths that may be holding you back and how to: Get back "in sync" with your partner Notice relationship red flags before it's too late Avoid blow-ups over difficult situations Revitalize the connection you had when you first met Love Secrets Revealed gives you the tools to single-handedly make a difference in your relationship—starting today.

Concise advice on hunting down the personal culprits that sabotage sobriety and personal happiness.In simple, down-to-earth language, Dr. Allen Berger introduces us to twelve of the most common assumptions and attitudes that can sabotage recovery—and gives us the tools to overcome these challenges. This useful guide helps us keep our recovery going strong with fresh perspectives on how the process of change begins with basic self-awareness and a commitment to working a daily program.Although there are many ways to mess up recovery, Dr. Berger identifies critically important and widespread patterns of thought and behavior. These - confusing self-concern with selfishness- not making amends- using the program to try to become perfect- not getting help for relationship troubles- believing that life should be easyThis highly accessible book helps us become more honest with ourselves and face the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk.

Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards you may encounter on your path to long-term recovery.Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards you may encounter on your path to long-term recovery.Recovery from addiction is often compared to a journey where you meet new people; rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit; and learn new things about yourself that give you hope for the future. But like all journeys, there are also pitfalls that can jeopardize your sobriety.With his popular book, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, Allen Berger has shown many people how to confront self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that can sabotage their sobriety. In this sequel, Allen gives you the tools you need to work through twelve more pitfalls that you are likely to encounter on your path to long-term recovery.