Contradiction Days

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Five months pregnant and facing a creative block, JoAnna Novak becomes captivated by the reclusive Abstract Expressionist painter Agnes Martin. She is intrigued by the contradictions in Martin’s life and art—the delicate yet precise brushstrokes that create grid-like compositions, both rigid and ethereal. Most compelling is Martin’s commitment to her craft despite battling paranoid schizophrenia. As JoAnna grapples with the physical changes of pregnancy, she slips back into harmful habits and thoughts. When she reveals her struggles with depression and suicidal ideation to her doctor, he dismisses her concerns, urging her to prioritize her unborn child and take antidepressants. Offended by his condescending attitude and lack of understanding of her mental health history, JoAnna resolves to immerse herself in Martin’s world instead, embracing the painter’s philosophy of joyful solitude. She rents a house in Taos, committing to three weeks of isolation: no phone, no emails, no conversations with her husband, and no interaction with her dog. Through this deep engagement with Martin’s work, JoAnna discovers a new perspective on her own contradictions, learning to navigate the complexities of her body and the joys and challenges of impending motherhood.